In a feat of dedication that would make even the laziest sluggard weep with envy, Alan Maxwell has bravely soldiered on for a week to complete a task a mere mortal could finish in 15 minutes. We eagerly await news of his eventual, triumphant victory over the forces of brief productivity.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69fe40757b44769fe40757b448.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>LOS ANGELES — Alan Maxwell recently entered day seven of a simple task that would take most normal adults no more than 15 minutes to complete.</p>