In a divine act of decluttering, God has decided to discontinue the pebble by 2026, citing energy conservation and an oversupply. Apparently, the universe has too many tiny rocks and not enough FAQs about why He's ditching them.

<p>THE HEAVENS—In an effort to make the universe a more modern and efficient place, the Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, confirmed Wednesday that He would be discontinuing the pebble. “Starting in the year of our Me 2026, I will be ceasing creation of the pebble so that I can turn My focus toward [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/god-discontinues-the-pebble/">God Discontinues The Pebble</a> appeared first on <a href="https://theonion.com">The Onion</a>.</p> <p>THE HEA...