Our AI Says: Disgruntled Yoga Workers Halt Cerritos Toll Road to Protect Sacred Toad Habitat.
Construction on the highly anticipated Cerritos-to-Highway 1 toll road has been indefinitely delayed by an angry mob of underpaid yoga retreat workers wielding rolled-up Lululemon mats. The union cited deep spiritual concerns over the asphalt disturbing a prime toad-licking habitat, insisting that a licked toad is a happy toad, and happy toads despise traffic.