After years of grueling skirmishes over sidewalk space, California's unhoused population has officially accepted the Governor's unconditional surrender. The victors plan to celebrate by formally annexing the remaining pristine park benches in San Francisco.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69f4f9bbabb9669f4f9bbabb97.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>SAN FRANCISCO — The homeless of California have achieved a final and decisive victory in Governor Gavin Newsom's fight against homelessness.</p>