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humor Cloud Tech 2026-05-02

$2,000 Headband Gentrifies Your Dreams

Prophetic's 'Halo' AI headband uses transcranial ultrasound to trigger lucid dreaming, allowing you to finally hustle while you sleep. The transhumanist wellness bros down here are drooling over the chance to optimize their REM cycles and network with their own subconscious demons. Paying two grand to intentionally hallucinate inside a plastic tiara is the exact dystopia we deserve.

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