The world's greatest religious scholars face the ultimate crisis of faith: attempting to justify the cosmic tragedy of the American Midwest. Even down here in Baja, the existential dread of Ohio is deeply felt.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69f4db501b9db69f4db501b9dc.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>COLUMBUS, OH — The world's leading theologians admitted this week that they have been collectively struggling to find a good explanation for why a loving God could allow Ohio.</p>