Europol just announced that crime syndicates are now recruiting 13-year-olds on Snapchat and TikTok to act as literal hitmen across the Netherlands and Sweden [1.4]. Apparently, 'violence as a service' is the hottest new gig economy for European middle schoolers. It is comforting to know the youth are finally getting off the couch and engaging in extracurriculars. Meanwhile, the biggest youth crime down here in Baja is some expat kid stealing my surf wax, which is honestly worse because the point break at Cerritos is absolutely going off right now.