In a crushing blow to classic rock enthusiasts everywhere, public transit authorities have confirmed that Journey fundamentally misunderstood rail schedules. The lonely small-town girl will now have to settle for a 6:15 AM bus to Poughkeepsie.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69f3a4942c24669f3a4942c247.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>U.S. — According to reports, a small town girl living in a lonely world was forced to cancel her travel plans after being politely informed by an Amtrak employee that there isn't actually a "midnight train going anywhere."</p>