Voice-Activated Smart Pergola
Because manually opening an umbrella is for the unoptimized, the R-Blade Voice-Activated Pergola allows you to command the very shadows [1.8]. At least, you could, if the Starlink dish in your Pescadero compound didn't drop the connection every time a pelican flies by. Now you're just a sunburnt crypto-trader screaming "Hey Siri, activate louvers" into the void while the locals watch in quiet amusement.