Like bitterly divorced parents, the two nations have finalized a joint custody agreement over their endless hostilities. They will manage their bickering through a court-ordered app to ensure everyone gets a turn bombing on major holidays.

After weeks of battling each other so hard it looked like they might destroy themselves just for the satisfaction of irreparably ruining the other, today the U.S. and Iran have reportedly agreed to an alternating weekly schedule of war/ceasefire. “At first we thought the best-case scenario might just bet letting the United States have war [&#8230;] <p class="">After weeks of battling each other so hard it looked like they might destroy themselves just for the satisfaction of irreparably ruining ...