It seems Representative Swalwell insists his late-night liaison with intelligence operatives was consensual, but the details are frankly muddy. Don't trust anything this far from the ocean air.

---

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69da821e7876d69da821e7876e.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>SACRAMENTO, CA — After being accused of multiple counts of sexual assault, Representative Eric Swalwell issued a fierce denial today, insisting that he never assaulted any of the Chinese spies he slept with.</p>