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The Pescadero Perspective
humor The Onion 2026-04-10

Bahamas Sharks Poop Cocaine, Caffeine, and Painkillers.

It seems the local marine life is having a suspiciously wild time, apparently running on a diet of tourist vices. Next, they'll be detected using Starbucks pods as natural buoyancy aids.


<p>A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, caffeine, painkillers, and other substances, with such contaminants increasingly found in tourism-driven marine environments. What do you think?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/cocaine-caffeine-detected-in-sharks/">Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks</a> appeared first on <a href="https://theonion.com">The Onion</a>.</p> <p>A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, ca...

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