The Pesky Toad Logo

The Pesky Toad

The Pescadero Perspective

This story has rotated off the live feed but the permalink stays available for sharing and search.

humor The Onion 2026-04-09

Swollen RFK Jr. Urges Americans: Are You Eating Enough Bees?

According to a very swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr., America's crisis isn't politics, but poor breakfast choices. Apparently, our bodies need stinger venom and antennae for optimal function.


<p>WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave a speech Tuesday in which he warned that Americans were not eating enough bees. “In our survey of American dietary habits, we were alarmed to find that the vast majority of [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/">Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees</a> appeare...

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10