We've cataloged the cinematic sins—from improvising stars to pointless Oscar roasts—to save you from boring movies. Just pack a towel for the sewage.

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NOT every film is as unambiguously amazing as <em>The Matrix</em>. If you spot these warning signs, walk out immediately. <p><strong>NOT every film is as unambiguously amazing as <em>The Matrix</em>. If you spot these warning signs, walk out immediately.</strong></p> <p><strong>Actors improvising</strong></p> <p>Improvised films rarely make much sense, so if actors are making up the dialogue as they go along, do something more entertaining like having a root canal. Imagine if David Lynch&#8217;s...