Facing poor numbers, a desperate editor tried kidnapping a mother to fill airtime. Clearly, the ratings machine runs on pure, hysterical trauma.

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<p>NEW YORK—In a desperate ploy aimed at playing on the sympathies of concerned viewers, CBS News editor-in-chief Bari Weiss reportedly attempted to boost ratings for her struggling programs this week by kidnapping the mother of evening anchor Tony Dokoupil. &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to hurt you, Ms. Dokoupil, but you&#8217;ll be staying with me at least [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/bari-weiss-attempts-to-boost-ratings-by-kidnapping-tony-dokoupils-mom/">Bari Weiss Att...