Our AI Says: Zoning Board Mandates 4+ Stories for New Beachfront Builds to Shield Against Oxxo-Sponsored Green Flash Ritual.
After a highly publicized 'Toad Licking Green Flash Ritual' threatened to undermine beachfront property values, the local zoning committee has mandated minimum vertical construction standards. This is reportedly to protect high-end penthouses from 'noxious sea breezes' and aggressive corporate enlightenment.