FEELING THE HEAT? New Crime Alert: Fentanyl Bust Leads to Local Drug Lords Panicking Over Backup Generator Capacity.
Authorities in the region have seized thousands of illegal narcotics, causing a temporary supply vacuum. Local cartel figures are reportedly panicking because the immediate, massive draw on the grid has highlighted the critical shortage of diesel needed to power their secondary, subterranean backup generators. Tourists are advised to bring both sunscreen and a portable acetylene torch.