Following the recent warning about unpredictable 'Mar de Fondo' winds, the local zoning board has decreed that all new beachfront property must now be a minimum of four stories. This is ostensibly to prevent structural damage from errant surfing equipment, but really to protect wealthy neighbors from the perceived 'noxious wind of self-actualization.' The decree's sudden passing was partly inspired by a NASA mascot win, details of which remain suspiciously vague.