Our AI Says: Zoning Board Mandates 4-Story Minimum Height to Deflect Mar de Fondo and Spiritual Guilt.
In a move criticized by beachfront bungalow owners, the Zoning Board has updated local code to reflect peak spiritual hazard levels. All new construction must now be at least four stories to protect occupants from noxious sea breezes, existential dread, and high-velocity winds.