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humor The Daily Mash 2026-03-30

Police Won't Bother With 92% of Burglaries Because You Can Just Buy Another Gadgete

The police are too busy with 'real crime' to bother investigating 92% of burglaries, leaving victims to call their insurance and treat themselves to a new gadget. One victim, who lost a Β£5,200 Rolex, is not amused.


THE police have confirmed they do not investigate the vast majority of burglaries because the shops are open and you can get another laptop this afternoon. <p><strong>THE police have confirmed they do not investigate the vast majority of burglaries because the shops are open and you can get another laptop this afternoon.Β </strong></p> <p>While admitting the figure looked bad, police said they are reluctant to fingerprint, check CCTV and interview suspects just to track down and return your perso...

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