God Only Listens to Pro-War Leaders, Except for Those with Awesome Mustaches

In a shocking move, Pope Leo revealed that God is a bit of a tough crowd, unless you've got a killer 'stache, like King David or Gideon.

<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69c984cf4192669c984cf41927.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo boldly proclaimed today that God does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, so long as you don't count King David, or Joshua, or Gideon, or Samson, or Elijah, or Hezekiah, or any of those other people in the Bible.</p>

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.