New study reveals newborns can startle at 3 weeks old just from potato chip bag noise, because who needs human connection when you have crunch?

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<p>ITASCA, IL—In what researchers are hailing as an incredible breakthrough in the understanding of early childhood development, a study published Friday by the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that most infants can respond to the rustling of a potato chip bag three weeks after they are born. “Our trials have demonstrated that newborns will startle [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/study-infants-respond-to-rustling-of-potato-chip-bag-as-early-as-3-weeks/">Study: Inf...