Archaeologists unearth a ancient scroll revealing Jesus's surprising talent for guessing people's weights, complete with prizes for the winners and a mustache

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<p>JERUSALEM—Historians confirmed Friday that a recent archaeological find in the Judean Hills is an authentic early Christian scroll, one that depicts the previously unknown miracle of Jesus Christ correctly guessing people’s weights just by looking at them. “The papyrus is remarkably well-preserved, with an unbroken Aramaic script that describes Christ strolling through Galilee with a [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/ancient-scroll-reveals-lost-miracle-of-christ-correctl...