Theologians confirm the ultimate utopia will ban bikes, because, apparently, the afterlife needs to fix our world's traffic problems

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<img src="https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/69c591610709669c5916107097.jpg" style="width: 100%;" width="400" /><p>WORLD — The world's leading theologians weighed in on the nature of Heaven this week, confirming what many have long believed: Heaven's streets of gold will have no cyclists.</p>