humor
The Onion
2026-03-26
FDA Gives Green Light to Explosive Lettuce That Will Blow Up in Your Stomach
The FDA's new exploding romaine lettuce is the ultimate solution for food recalls: just blow it up, and the bacteria inside you will be toast.
<p>SILVER SPRING, MD—Stressing its commitment to ending foodborne outbreaks as efficiently as possible, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved a new crop of lettuce Thursday that can be remotely detonated in the event of a recall. “Our state-of-the-art exploding romaine lettuce heads will combust at the first sign of contamination,” said FDA Commissioner Martin […]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://theonion.com/fda-approves-lettuce-that-can-be-remotely-detonated-in-event-of-recall/"...