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humor The Beaverton 2026-03-25

US Airport Security Lineups Disappear After ICE Agents Kidnap Most Passengers

ICE agents take over airport security lines, making them virtually nonexistent, because who needs to wait when you can be kidnapped?


<p>SAN FRANCISCO &#8211; In a happy turn of events, airline passengers boarding flights across the United States reported almost no lineups for airport security &#8211; especially once ICE agents had wrestled most of the other customers to the ground and dragged them into the backs of unmarked vans. β€œThat was definitely the fastest I’ve ever [&#8230;]</p> <p>The post <a href="https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/03/airport-security-lineups-in-us-vastly-reduced-after-ice-agents-kidnap-most-traveller...

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