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humor The Needling 2026-03-25

Everett's Traffic Jam Saves Seattle from Apocalypse

Thanks to a 3-hour traffic jam, an apocalyptic earthquake was thwarted in its tracks, sparing Seattle from certain doom – or at least, its Walmarts.


Crisis was averted today as an apocalyptic, city shattering earthquake heading towards Seattle was halted in its tracks by an impenetrable Everett traffic-jam. β€œWe really dodged a bullet there, and we have the horrific traffic quagmire that transpires daily in Everett to thank for that,” said Tom Pearson, Seismologist at the Pacific Northwest Seismic Network. [&#8230;] <p class="">Crisis was averted today as an apocalyptic, city shattering earthquake heading towards Seattle was halted in its tra...

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