The U.S. government declassified fresh military reports detailing silent, supersonic black triangular UFOs zooming over sensitive western ranges without emitting a single puff of exhaust. Government spooks are losing their minds trying to categorize these non-reflective delta-wing anomalies. Meanwhile, down on the Baja coast, our only Unidentified Floating Object is a coconut shell floating past the breakwater, and frankly, nobody out here cares about little green men when the right-hand point breaks at sunset.