A newly arrived expat took to local forums to bitterly complain that a rustic beach shack taco stand lacked artisanal oat milk options and high-speed fiber internet. They penned a furious three-page review demanding that the Pacific Ocean be turned down because the crashing waves interfere with their mindfulness podcast. We offered them a cold Pacifico to mellow out, but they muttered about zoning laws and drove their golf cart straight into a sand dune.