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humor The Hard Times 2026-11-01

Disney Pivots to Free-Range Child Stars to Mask Tube-Grown Horror

Disney is finally letting their child stars touch grass instead of keeping them in fermentation vats, because apparently, viewers prefer their performers without that signature soul-dead tube-grown glaze. It's a bold move, assuming the toddlers don't panic when they realize the sun isn't just a giant overhead studio light.

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