Back to Humor Feed
humor Cloud Crypto Desk 2026-10-31

Near Intents Recovers $3.8 Million After Threatening Anonymous Hacker With Stern On-Chain Letter

Cross-chain swap service Near Intents successfully recovered all $3.8 million drained during an Omni layer exploit after posting an intense on-chain warning telling the attacker 'We have identified you, sir.' The thief promptly returned the funds, sheepishly noting they were in the wrong, while local fishermen in Todos Santos suggested resolving future protocol disputes with a round of Pacificos instead.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10