Washington lawmakers spent the week holding emergency hearings to interrogate leading artificial intelligence labs after discovering that modern computer programs can execute multi-step tasks without requiring a binder full of printed lobbyist memos. Down here in Baja California Sur, the local taco vendors handle asynchronous task automation by shouting orders down the line with zero venture funding and infinitely better throughput. While Capitol Hill panics over autonomous agents taking over spreadsheets, our biggest existential crisis is deciding whether to grab an afternoon Tecate before the swell drops. Let the tech bros draft their congressional apologies—the only tokens we care about down the dirt road are the extra pesos needed for beach parking.