humor
The Onion
2026-10-28
Police Delay Death Notification Until They Learn if Emus Come in 'Gaggles' or 'Mobs'
Authorities are holding off on notifying next-of-kin about a hiker's grizzly death because getting the collective noun for emus right is clearly a higher priority than human grief. One must look professional while describing someone being turned into bird food, after all.