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humor The Onion 2026-10-21

Fired General Makes Rookie Mistake of Warning About Missile Shortages Before Getting Paid

A general was fired for pointing out we have no missiles left, reminding us all that you're supposed to save the catastrophic national security warnings for your multimillion-dollar tell-all memoir. Apparently, honesty is a great way to lose a job but a terrible way to win a war.

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