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humor The Onion 2026-10-21

Democracy Reaches Peak Maturity: Matt Meyers Will Vote for Whoever Says His Name

Matt Meyers has courageously distilled the complex American political process into a simple transaction: say his name on national TV, and he’s yours. Forget policy or ethics; if a candidate manages to shoehorn 'Matt Meyers' into a sentence, he’ll gladly hand over his future for a three-syllable ego boost.

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