In a terrifying peek into the future, Coinbase has launched autonomous AI agents capable of trading crypto and moving payments all by themselves. Silicon Valley is hailing this as the dawn of agentic efficiency, while tech refugees hiding out in Baja are too busy arguing with stray dogs over shady taco truck bills to notice. The local Wi-Fi router at the palapa gave up the ghost hours ago anyway, rendering all artificial intelligence completely useless against a good old-fashioned desert blackout. Let the algorithms trade the dip; we are too busy watching the sunset paint the Sea of Cortez.