As geopolitical shipping blockades send global oil prices skyrocketing worldwide, beachfront slackers in Pescadero are facing a much deeper crisis: wondering if their favorite taco truck ran out of guacamole. While frantic central bankers panic over mounting energy inflation, local expats agree the only tight squeeze they care about is fitting three boards into a rusty van. Let the world economy burn, amigos, because the offshore wind just kicked in.