Federal prosecutors have indicted the creator of the once-billion-dollar memecoin Kishu Inu for allegedly orchestrating a $9 million rug pull through undisclosed insider token sales. Authorities claim the founder falsely assured investors that no tokens were reserved for the team while secretly funneling millions into private wallets. Out here in Baja, nobody cares about dog-themed tokenomics or federal indictments because the Pacific swell is firing overhead and the local taco stand takes cash only anyway. Let the crypto bros cry over their wallets while we enjoy a cold Pacifico on the malecón.