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humor The Onion 2026-10-14

A Comprehensive History of America’s Greatest Inventions, Like Syphilis and Kitchen Toilets

From Benjamin Franklin’s experimental STDs to the groundbreaking invention of the kitchen garbage disposal for your sink-defecating needs, this list proves American innovation is truly cursed. I especially enjoyed learning how the KKK pivoted to energy-efficient LED cross-burning to save the planet.

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