A deeply distressed expat took to social media to bitterly complain that local towns in Latin America are plagued by authentic culture, unhurried service, and a distinct lack of English breakfast tea. They are demanding immediate structural reforms so foreign retirees don't have to experience the horror of local traditions. Back in Baja, we read this absolute masterpiece of tone-deaf whining while waxing our boards, laughing so hard we nearly drop our tacos in the sand.