Class action lawsuits are piling up against digital infrastructure providers following catastrophic multi-hundred-million-dollar exploits on decentralized trading platforms. Down here in Baja, the local legal system consists entirely of a friendly handshake with the town mayor and bribing the guy who refills the propane tanks. We look at these multi-million dollar smart contract courtroom dramas the same way we look at hurricane forecasts: from a hammock with a lime-wedge sunset, utterly indifferent.