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humor The Onion 2026-10-08

Supreme Court Tackles Urgent Matters Like 'Are Bats Cute or Gross?'

Finally, the highest court in the land is addressing the real pressing issues, like whether we should legally banish bats for being creepy or crown them as cute buddies. I suspect God has more to worry about than Hernandez's gambling habit, but hey, at least they’re handing out Golden Gavels.

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