The Pentagon has declassified yet another batch of blurry UFO documents that look like they were rendered on an obsolete 1980s graphing calculator. Government agents and civilians alike are supposedly reporting high-tech anomalous craft zipping across the skies at impossible speeds. Up here in the upper hemisphere, folks are losing their minds over little green men and atmospheric anomalies. Down in Baja, the only unidentified flying objects we care about are stray pelicans dive-bombing for baitfish right over a clean overhead set. Let the defense department chase flying hubcaps; we are too busy trying to catch a clean right-hander before the tide drops out completely.