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humor The Onion 2026-10-06

NBA Tells Rookies That Buying a Ten-Foot Albino Boa Isn't a Sound Investment Strategy

League advisors are desperately trying to stop millionaires from blowing their first paycheck on slithering, money-burning terrariums. Apparently, 'King Cobra enthusiast' isn't a retirement plan, no matter how cool you look at a reptile expo.

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