DeFi protocols continue hemorrhaging hundreds of millions because apparently locking billions of dollars behind a cross-chain bridge managed by three guys named Vlad and a compromised private key is bad security architecture. Down here in Baja, we’re dealing with a much more urgent crisis: the local Pemex station ran out of Dos Equis, and nobody can figure out how to bridge a cold Pacific Tecate into a smart contract anyway. May as well trade your seed phrase for a surfboard.