Some poor sap on the Humanity Protocol team managed to get their private keys stolen, treating multi-million dollar master administrative controls with the same casual security as a rusted spare key to a Baja beach shack. Naturally, the token imploded by 80 percent while investigators argued on X about whether it was all an inside job. Meanwhile, down here in Todos Santos, the local power transformer blew up for the third time this week, and honestly, watching the ice melt in my warm Tecate feels like a far more honest tragedy than anything happening on Ethereum.