An attacker on Starknet exploited a lending market's collateral list to borrow roughly $3.5 million against the protocol's native token NSTR, whose entire market cap was barely a fraction of that. While nerds on crypto Twitter panic over oracle manipulation and broken smart contracts, the local palapa crew is entirely unbothered. The surf at Zippers is head-high, the Tecates are ice cold, and our only oracle is a sunburned local named Chacho who says rain is coming whenever his knee clicks. Good luck getting your liquidity back, gringos.