Pentagon Declassifies Yet Another Batch of Grainy Nothingness
The U.S. government unleashed another heavy tranche of declassified UFO files featuring more blurry black-and-white orbs and federal agent drawings that look like an Atari 2600 fever dream. Federal investigators are baffled by mysterious lights in the sky, completely unaware that the only glowing object worth tracking around here is the sunset over the Sea of Cortés while the local swell pumps overhead.