Reddit threads are currently flooded with bewildered expats throwing digital tantrums because local businesses in Latin America charge actual market rates, play loud music, and refuse to cater exclusively to North American sensibilities. One visionary traveler bitterly complained that he had to interact with actual locals instead of a sterile resort simulation. Here in Baja, we suggest these tone-deaf refugees pack their sunscreen, trade their complaints for a Pacifico, and realize nobody forced them to leave the strip mall behind.