Escalating Middle East conflicts and Strait of Hormuz tensions have successfully driven crude oil prices to terrifying new heights, triggering panic across every major capital of the world. Meanwhile, at the local palapa bar, three retired software architects from Seattle are locked in a heated theological debate about epoxy versus polyester resin while ignoring their expiring tourist visas. Let the global economy burn itself to ash; the only thing crashing around here is a glorious two-foot shorebreak.